I want to preface this article by saying that quitting your job doesn’t make you a horrible person, it is not an all-encompassing reflection of your 'poor' work ethic, nor is it a sign that you are an ungrateful, noncontributing member of millennial society.  Contrary to popular belief, sometimes quitting your job can actually serve as a major step in the right direction.  So if you’re still aimlessly searching for someone to tell you 'it’s okay you’re not loving what you studied in college,'…it’s O.K.A.Y.

Now while quitting your job may not be a criminal offense, it most certainly isn’t a course of action to be taken lightly.  Not only are you potentially sacrificing your income, but your decision will inevitably affect the colleagues you leave behind.  Yes, employers understand that your first job probably won’t be your last, and yet there is a right way to go about cutting ties… and for the record, it doesn’t involve a white board face off with your previous employer.

Most students coming out of competitive college arenas have no insight as to how to respectfully resign…and that, my friends, is an unfortunate lesson I learned the hard way.

When I went about beginning a professional career of my own, I found myself at odds with the very same systems that had served to guide and benefit me throughout college.  And as the poster child for the 'Undecided' department of studies, it wasn’t any surprise that my ventures included a plethora of highly unrelated fields from teaching, to standup comedy, to event planning, to advertising.  While each job most definitely had its fair share of interesting perks and angles, what I didn’t anticipate were the many ways in which my rather scattered decision making processes would affect my relationships both personally and professionally down the road.

Quitting is never something you readily conceptualize as a part of your new job. (If it is, you may want to reconsider signing that offer letter.)  Quitting in fact, is what most of us growing up are taught is an abomination in the world of hard workers and dedicated students. We’re convinced that only lazy, unapologetic, or injured people quit, which would then I suppose explain why most students coming out of competitive college arenas have no insight as to how to respectfully resign…and that, my friends, is an unfortunate lesson I learned the hard way.  So whether you are considering quitting your job in pursuit of new opportunities or are hoping to cease a relationship gone sour with your current employer, understand that above all else, a little empathy goes a long way.

In hopes that you don’t have to repeat the same mistakes I made in submitting my first completely obscured and butchered letter of resignation (i.e. 'I think I quit? I’m not really sure? Maybe I’m just unhappy?...boss can you help me?' Letter of Resignation), here a few tips I hope can serve as a starting point for you in the 'should I stay or should I go' decision making process:

1) Quit With Purpose

Unlike Hollywood’s token 'you don’t have to fire me, I quit!' tagline, quitting your job isn’t glamorous any way you spin it.  Whether you are leaving for a new opportunity or are unhappy in your current work environment, it’s a conversation that’s never going to end in a high five and a happy hour commemoration (at least not of your boss’s own accord).  In short, make sure you’ve clearly lined out a distinction between temporary inconvenience and irreconcilable difference.  (Not every bump in the road is reason enough to abandon ship!)  Once you have come to a final decision, reflect on the reasoning behind your resignation.  Your current employer may not deserve a long winded response but you most certainly owe one to yourself.  Aside from some much needed down time, it will allow you to avoid similar obstacles in your future pursuits.

2) Tone Down The Blame Game

Yes, there are many things that can go wrong in a professional environment, and yet pointing the finger of blame isn’t going to leave you with a favorable reference up your sleeve at the next interview.  At the end of the day, resigning is a personal decision.  Whether or not someone’s carelessness or consistent badgering influenced your final course of action, you’re an adult who surely can take responsibility for her own decisions.  Once you deliver the news, your boss will be far less interested in who arrives to work 30 minutes late each morning or who plays cartoons on his computer during the weekly office meeting.  Resignation is between you and your company.  While feedback is a well-structured and professionally delivered recount of your observations and possible areas for improvement, tattling on your co-workers will come across as childish and ultimately unappealing.

3) Play Fair

Far too often, quitting is used as a bargaining tool—a means to a lucrative end.  But if a raise or shorter hours are what you’re looking for, I think you’ll find that a candid conversation with your boss may serve you far better in the long run.  If you want to stay with the company long term, stay, but take resignation out of your negotiation tool belt.  The only time you should be threating to leave, is if you are, in fact, prepared to leave that same day.  As temporarily invigorating sticking it to Jennifer Aniston’s Horrible Bosses double may be…bills and student loans don’t accept temporarily lapses in judgment as a major credit provider. 

As temporarily invigorating as it may be…bills and student loans don’t accept temporary lapses in judgment as a major credit provider.

4) Lean Into the Discomfort 

It’s easy to complain about the discomfort of dropping the 'Q' bomb on your boss last minute.  But as much as his/her disappointment may make you temporarily uneasy, it's important to consider that your decision to resign has put quite a bit of extra work on their plate, particularly if your departure is unexpected.  I’m not saying you should apologize or feel remotely guilty for your decision to part ways (at the end of the day, it is in the best interest of your employer to hire individuals who want to work for his/her company), however, you do have control over how you approach the situation.  Ask what you can do to assist during the transition, and if feasible in your current timeline, offer to train your replacement.  While this job may not have been the light at the end of tunnel you were hoping for, leaving graciously should always be at the top of your priority list. In other words, it may not be your job to understand their reaction but how you go about submitting your resignation can surely assuage any hard feelings long term.

To be perfectly blunt, quitting is never an easy balance of emotions,  and in the height of an exciting opportunity or an ongoing feud with your co-workers, empathy might initially come to mind as yet another hassle on your longer laundry list of do’s and don’ts.  But as someone who has encountered this crossroads once or twice, myself, the glamour of any job fades over time. While temporary glimpses of success are exciting and even empowering in the moment, the only means to a sustainable professional end is by way of a supportive (and in my case, extremely understanding) network.

In closing, yes, live out the commencement speaker dream, 'discover the world in all of its vastness' 'challenge the norm' and 'live every day as if there is no tomorrow' but understand that even the choice to do so is a powerful thing.  While the afterglow of such choices may succumb to the day-to-day monotony of to do lists and proper procedure, there remains a continuous value in the individuals who made those very choices a possibility.  Cheers to you and your new beginning, whatever it may be!