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With Mother’s Day having just passed, I’ve been reflecting on the role my mother has played in my life, her positive impact on me, and the leadership lessons she has taught me throughout my childhood and now.  My mother’s leadership at home and in the workplace has always demonstrated resilience (especially when our family became non-nuclear), patience, understanding despite differences that may arise, and forward-thinking.  Especially when my family experienced much instability while I went through high school, she never let her kids get off course and she constantly reminded us of the importance of moving forward and not dwelling on our previous problems.  

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As a public school teacher, modeling positive, healthy, and empowering leadership is at the heart of my job, and I know I wouldn’t be half the teacher I am today without my mom and what she’s taught me about being a female leader in a male-dominated world.  In honor of my mother and Mother’s Day, I’ve compiled a list of the four most influential leadership lessons my mother has taught me.

1. Leadership can and should be personal.

My mother and I are both extremely sensitive and emotionally in tune.  I’ve grown up being taught that life itself is personal and the more we avoid those emotions and the emotions of others, the more problems we create and the less life we live.  Leadership is similar in that way.  My mother has been a school psychologist for almost 20 years, and she leads with her head and her heart.  When she has to communicate a  psychological diagnosis to parents about their child, she knows the news can be jarring and—in some cases—really troubling and received with anxiety.  Although in these cases, my mother has to be matter-of-fact, she understands the importance of also being personal in her approach, demonstrating empathy and compassion, and being an active listener.  In my life as a public school teacher, I’ve tried mirroring and embodying a similar concept.  

I’m also a firm believer, thanks to my mother, that leadership is personal because it’s a part of you, and you are sharing that with others in hopes of inspiring them, helping them, and advocating on their behalf with their consent.  I’ve found in my personal and professional experience in the leadership roles I’ve held, that the more I get to know the people I’m leading, the more personalized opportunities I’m able to provide for them under my leadership and the more we can effect change that matters most to those I’m working with.  Leaders who are personal and unafraid to express emotion are able to help people break down invisible barriers to feel more comfortable and empowered in their individual roles.  This is the type of leadership my mother practices, and the type I’ll continue to demonstrate in my own life.

2. Practicing patience is at the heart of effective leadership.

This is a leadership lesson I’ve observed in my mother since I was a child and am now making more sense of at 25 in my new role as an elementary school teacher.  I’ve never had to practice more patience than I do now as I teach a classroom full of 20 six and seven year olds every day.  It’s hard to answer the same question multiple times and not lose some patience.  It’s challenging to manage 20 different personalities, learning levels, behaviors and social dynamics while trying to simultaneously teach content, keep the classroom safe and happy, and stay sane in the process.  But with patience at the center of your leadership, those you’re leading will notice that you care about making time for them, working through challenges, adapting to different personalities, and collaborating with others.  When I practice patience with my students (no matter how much they may drive me crazy), I show that I care about them and that I’m empathetic to their wants and needs.

3. Leadership isn’t always about YOU.  Remember who you’re leading.

As a school psychologist, my mother’s work literally revolves around other people and their mental/emotional wellbeings.  Her leadership is centered on advocating and caring for others, and while her job can be stressful and trying at times (especially when she’s met with resistance and a lack of support from parents/guardians), she remembers that leadership isn’t just about her.  Sure, a whole lot of it has to do with you since you’re the one leading, the one working with others and ensuring their happiness and success, and assuming a role that involves so much of yourself.  But that doesn’t mean the decisions you make as a leader should have your needs, wants, and interests in front of those you’re leading.  Of course, you should ensure that you feel happy, empowered, and fulfilled as a leader and check in with yourself if you’re not feeling that way while leading others.  

My mother has taught me that effective, influential, and positive leaders put others’ interests before their own if it means serving the greater good and creating positive impact.  There may be some decisions you are not fully onboard with, but if you know in the end it will best suit and serve those you lead, it will be worth it.  Most of the decisions my mother made when diagnosing students, providing special education and psychological support, and leading/working with fellow co-workers were not to serve her own personal interest or what she thought would be easiest or most manageable for her.  Her decisions and leadership valued perspectives outside of herself and I’ve tried my best to embody that in my leadership and teaching.  

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I wouldn’t be half the teacher I am today without my mom and what she taught me about being a female leader in a male-dominated world.

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4. If you see a problem or an injustice, it’s your job to speak to that and point it out.

My mother has always spoken up and provided support when she sees people being mistreated, ostracized, and discriminated against.  So much of her leadership stems from wanting to provide help and services to those who are often marginalized because of their mental illness.  For years, my mother worked in a psychiatric institution where she worked with those suffering from some of the most debilitating, life-altering, and severe mental illnesses.  Her understanding leadership was necessary in a job like that.  From there, her leadership and work became focused on advocating for effective and empowering mental health services for all.  Her leadership includes speaking up against injustices, and she knows it’s her job as a leader in her field to do so.  

As a public school teacher, I see a lot of systemic injustices and teach groups of students who experience unfairness and discrimination because of an unjust system.  My leadership too stems from a place of wanting to expose problems, do something about them, and ensure justice and equality for all.  And a lot of that fire and value for justice and fairness comes from my mother.

My mother has been one of the most positive and influential leaders in my life, and I’m grateful to have someone like her to have taught me these important lessons.  I feel like a more effective and confident leader in my own life because of her.  We need more female leaders, we need more room for us, and we need to learn from each other instead of feeling like we need to compete with each other.  By sharing leadership lessons with one another, we will empower those around us to step up and lead too.

 

Comments (1)

  1. Meagan Hooper

And now, you're that role model for other women Dylan!!

 
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