American women, particularly those who are professionals or are in higher education, are faced with a daily contradiction regarding stress and productivity: to be useful, smart, and hardworking while simultaneously appearing poised, relaxed, and happy.  Women are thus forced to engage in stressful behavior but they are discouraged from showing the effect on their lives.

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Despite a recent backlash against stress through the surge in popularity of relaxation techniques of all kinds, stress continues to be glorified in American culture.  People who are stressed are seen as committed, productive members of society who are willing to nobly sacrifice their own comfort or wellbeing to benefit others, even though the ‘other’ is often a company rather than a person.  Work infiltrates every aspect of our lives, from meals to time at home or with friends and family. 

While the harmful effects of stress are realized by most people, stress is encouraged to be internalized: in a culture that stigmatizes and shames mental health, no one wants to acknowledge that stress is breaking you down.  Very few women measure up to the perfect image of someone who is truly relaxed; being happy and carefree doesn’t always mean laughing as you eat probiotic yogurt and do yoga.  Stress is further exacerbated by a spirit of competition, seen especially in academic and cutthroat professional environments.  Women are surrounded, in part thanks to social media, by stories of success and glory that they may feel they could never achieve.

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To combat stress, one solution is to find something you love and do it only for you.

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While it’s clear that the problematic attitude toward stressed women arises from a number of sources, among them patriarchal standards of perfection and stigmatization of mental health, it’s useful to recognize that change begins on an individual level. To combat stress, especially as it results from a sense of competition, one solution is to find something you love and do it only for you.  You don’t have to be good at it.  Paint portraits that only you will see, go on walks or runs through spaces that make you calm and happy, watch Netflix with your pets.  Most importantly, realize that no one lives up to the image of the ideally relaxed, perfectly successful person, and even if they did, the extent of their impact on your life is determined by what you allow.

 

Anna is a first-year university student majoring in International Studies with a minor in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality studies.  She likes reading, painting, and her three succulents, Ezra, Venus, and Phillip.  It’s her dream to live in Prague. 

 

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