Yes, being the new girl in town most definitely comes with its perks.  You’re the talk of the town and, for a brief span of time, the one to impress.  You have the office at your beck and call, a schedule reminiscent of a college meet and greet.  Your hopes are big and your worries cease to exist because on day one the workplace represents a world of unbounded opportunity.

But as all of us know far too well, all good things must come to an end, and this world of exciting 'firsts' quickly dissipates into an overwhelming stack of files, unanswered emails, and high demands until somewhere in between big dreams and personal sanity, you find yourself clinging to nostalgic memories of that first day bliss. 

9.4 TW

So then, what’s the difference between surviving and thriving in the workplace?

Allies.

Sure, it’s a bit formal, and perhaps can be equated to 'friends' in a way.  But as I learned very early on in my professional career, there is in fact a difference between 'friends' and 'work friends.'  And for this very reason, I think it warrants a different title.

As my boyfriend so eloquently stated to me one month into a new job: 'You’re just not going to have the same relationship with your co-workers that you did with your friends in college. That is, unless you’re planning on holding someone’s hair up after a rough night out and reinstating proper office hierarchy come Monday morning.'  At the time, I found myself craving social contact, complaining daily of the formality, and as a result, impersonal code of conduct.  I wanted my crazy best friend, my three quirky and sometimes entirely too judgmental roommates, I wanted to gossip about last night’s episode of the Bachelor, and vent about the ongoing struggles in my love life (even though there was likely no problem at all)—in short, I wanted to transplant my college life into the real world, every person, every history, every monotonous last detail. 

But as I fathomed the inevitable downfall of an organization built and run by my college collective of high strung, sensitive, and completely irrational confidants, I realized that those moments, while most certainly special were best kept in the personal sector of my life (for the better of my wallet and the American economy).  That in mind, I set out on a quest for new beginnings and 'allies' to guide me along the way.

First things first, an 'ally' has all the perks of a college friend—companionship, trust, accountability with a few distinctions:

1) Allies are professional pals, i.e. if you wouldn’t say it in front of your grandma think twice before crossing any professional boundaries

2) Allies are wonderful at all ages, don’t discount your older (or younger) colleagues for fear of the generational gap

3) Allies are not crutches. Having an ally is not interchangeable with doing your job.  Just like any relationship, an unequal balance of responsibility can quickly become the wet blanket in the room, so in short, be the ally you’re hoping to find.

Grey.Line.7

Making the additional effort to get to know your colleagues can not only improve your quality of life at work but also open new doors to upward mobility in the future.

Grey.Line.7

Sometimes finding people you can trust, particularly when it comes to your career, can be an uphill battle, which often puts opening up about your struggles, asking for help, and seeking out career advice on the savvy business millennial backburner.  Well… Don’t fall for it!  Making the additional effort to get to know your colleagues can not only improve your quality of life at work but also open new doors to upward mobility in the future.  Simply put, happy people produce better work.  So if you’re still on edge eavesdropping on the interoffice chatter here are some sure fire ways to rack up office allies and begin building your social network (the old fashioned way):

Names, Names, Names.

While it may seem like a simple task remembering your colleagues’ names can be a taxing feat at best, especially when your brain is already overloaded with onboarding material and numerous virtual passwords.  Let’s face it, nothing’s worse than that cringe worthy moment when an office VIP calls you by name and you find yourself in a cold sweat praying someone will interrupt with a useful hint.  So if you aren’t walking into this situation equipped with a photographic memory and an impeccable track record for full name retention, don’t panic!  As you go through your first week on the job, always have a notepad within reach.  After meeting someone (by no means in front of them!) write down their name and a brief description/phrase to trigger your memory.  Go through your notes once at the end of the day and once before going into work.  You’ll inevitably stumble on one or two of the names but your odds will go up if you make an active effort to remember them.  An added bonus?  These phrases, particularly if they relate to hobbies or interest, can give you ideas to jumpstart your next conversation—total ally material!

Be the Assertive Right Hand Woman.

A spin on a classic, the key to this one is mastering the art of being helpful and forward thinking at the same time.  Remember, assertiveness is not to be confused with bossiness, but rather represents a calm and direct presence in the work place. Offering to assist on outside projects or even staying late to help a co-worker organize misplaced files will surely make you an asset to any team, but add some independent thinking into the mix puts you on the fast track to indispensability.  Unlike college, relationships in the office are work first, personal second. If someone can trust you professionally, they might just seek a friendship outside of deadlines, decks, and statically formal emails.

Master Your Small Talk Game.

Like I mentioned earlier, there is definitely a line that can and never should be crossed when talking to co-workers (at least on the front end of things).  Seeking a personal relationship before developing a professional one could lead to strained and uncomfortable situations, especially in the event that one of you is a superior to the other.  Mastering your small talk game is a nice way to bridge the gap between formality and the casual comfort that accompanies lasting friendships.  So if you see a window, take it! If someone asks you about your weekend, chime in with an anecdote surrounding the new soccer league you joined or the spinning class you tried and miserably failed at.  You might find some common interests tucked in there, laying the framework for what could be a long term… dare-I-say-it… friendship.

Yep you caught me, I’m not a cynical, 'work should never by fun' party pooper.  The best part about making allies is that they have the amazing capacity to become friends over time. It may take longer than one crazy house party to develop the kind of enduring memories you shared with your peers in college but a new phase of life gives way to a new set of rules. So don’t be the new girl sitting on the sidelines waiting to be asked to dance, call someone by name, tell them what you’re about, and let loose from time to time to show your personal side because at the end of the day, there’s no such thing as too many good people on your side.

 

Amina is a Chicago-based blogger/writer who works as an advertising strategist in her free time. She graduated from Amherst College in May of 2013 with a degree in American Studies and is still very much in the process of decoding the post grad life on a daily basis. If you like what you’ve read on bSmart Guide, feel free to check out more of her work on her personal blog Yours Exceptionally or for post grad advice on the go, follow her on Twitter @Amina_Taylor. 

 

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