Emma

Recently, I finished my first semester of college.  During my winter break, I took some time for reflection, and realized that both my life and my outlook on it have changed radically.  I learned some important life lessons, and recognized that they can be useful at any life stage to someone starting a new chapter of life, whether it's beginning the first semester at a new school, moving to a new city, or starting a new job.  

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Below are my lessons for starting a new life chapter and successful beginnings:

1) Remember other people are changing too

I began this new chapter of my life thinking I knew everything about what I was leaving behind.  As I left my hometown, I saw myself as a dynamic figure, and I believed that all of the people and things I knew about life at home would stay static.  Within three weeks of being at school, all of these preconceived ideas had drastically changed and I felt like I was drowning.

Although this doesn't happen to everyone, I realized that life is always dynamic.  While you're changing your life, the places and people you leave behind are changing too.  It doesn’t mean you won’t find comfort in talking with old friends or taking part in traditions you started years ago, but your viewpoints on the familiar can easily be altered.  This can be a difficult lesson to learn at first, and it can be disorienting as you try to acclimate to a new lifestyle.  The good news is, the unfamiliar will eventually become familiar and maybe even comforting.

2) Become involved with things you love

This is one of the most important lessons for me to remember.  Getting involved in activities that make you happy is not only beneficial to your mental health, but can connect you to valuable relationships you may not otherwise have had.  Yes, it's much easier for college students to do this as there are a plethora of extracurricular activities and clubs to join on campus, but no matter your life stage, this lesson never loses its importance.  Also, it's never too late to try something new!  Who knows?  The class or activity you try on a whim might become a lifelong hobby.

3) Take care of your mind and body

You’ve heard it a thousand times: ‘Your body is a temple.’  Any health guru or personal trainer will remind you that it’s essential to focus on your health, both physical and mental.  Make sure to eat right and drink enough water.  Detrmine the best time in your daily schedule for exercising.  When you start anew, it can be difficult to establish healthy routines, so be persistent.  Also, make sure you're trying activities you enjoy.  A healthy body is more difficult to maintain without a healthy mind to match.

4) Surround yourself with people you love

There’s a concept in psychology known as ‘the buffering hypothesis,’ which states that a strong social network can help reduce the harmful effects of stress on the body and mind.  Surrounding yourself with loving friends and family can alleviate some of the pressure that comes along with making big life decisions.  Seek relationships that make you feel relaxed and positive, and avoid the ones that don’t make you happy.  If you've moved to a different location from your friends and family, make the effort to make new friends, too!  It’s important to keep in touch with those who are far away, but keep your head up from that phone, too.  You never know what great people you could meet when you open yourself up to the moment.

5) Drink plenty of clean water

Our bodies and minds work best when we’re well-hydrated with clean water.  Maybe you’ve just bought your first house and you’re installing a water filter in your sink.  Maybe you’re in college or have moved into an apartment for a little while, and you’ve just purchased an inexpensive pitcher with a built-in filter.  Choose whatever works best for you, and remember to continuously provide your body with the fresh water it needs!

6) Embrace your inner child

I know we're all trying our best to be well-functioning adults, but sometimes we might have the urge to have a dance party or to cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and take a cat nap.  That is perfectly fine!  Reverting back to some of our favorite childhood activities can sometimes be comforting.  Coloring, in particular, can increase your mood and invoke a positive attitude even after just 15 minutes.  In general, it’s a healthy habit to know when to take a break -- these diversions can sometimes make for an easy pick-me-up before getting back to your daily tasks.

7) Welcome challenges with a smile

When you’re charting new territories, it can be easy to fall into some awkward situations due to a lack of experience.  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Changing your lifestyle can be challenging and takes time to get used to.  No matter what, embrace every moment with a smile.  Even if you make a mistake, count it as an experience you can learn from.  A positive attitude makes transitions much easier.

8) Understand nobody has any idea what they're doing

As you've just been thrown into a new situation, you're probably nervous.  Everyone has a fear of making mistakes.  However, I’d like to let you know that nobody knows what they are doing.  Everything that ever was and ever will be was thought of along the way by someone who, no matter their credentials, thought: ‘this will do.’  I’m not suggesting that people are clueless all of the time, but if people didn’t take risks, where would we be?  If people didn’t deviate from familiar situations, where would we be?  On the brink of discovery, people do not know what they are about to find.  Powerful leaders do not know how to handle every crisis they might encounter.  What makes them great is a combination of natural abilities, effort, and confidence.  Despite the doubts you may have as you start a new chapter, push yourself to be more confident in your decisions and new encounters.  Even if you only pretend, you might eventually start to believe you are sure of yourself.

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A strong social network can help reduce the harmful effects of stress on the body and mind.

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9) Keep your eye on the prize, even if you’re not sure what it is yet

It's important to have goals, large or small.  However sometimes, especially when we're young, there are moments in which we may not be sure of what our long-term goals are.  I, for one, have been constantly coming up with life plans and eventually discarding them since I was ten years old.  It’s okay to not always know where we're going in the long run.  Even if we do have a plan, sometimes life gets in the way.  Whether you know exactly where you want to be in five to ten years or you’re still trying to figure it out, keep going!  Continue to set short-term goals and do what makes you happy -- maybe you’ll find new opportunities along the way.

10) Remember that life is finite

It’s easy to get sucked into our work and focus solely on the future.  It’s important to remember that every day is a gift.  Consistently do the things that bring you joy.  Tell your loved ones how you feel.  Find happiness in each day.  Work hard, but also have fun!  You deserve it.

                       

Emma is a first-year student at Connecticut College.  Although her major is currently undeclared, she plans on studying Behavioral Neuroscience.  Her passions include learning, dancing, the ocean, and spending time with friends and family.

 


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