Noelle Richards

Grey’s Anatomy (SPOILER ALERT for those who haven’t watched season 11!) features main character, Meredith Grey, a widow with three kids.  However, while her husband was still alive, the character had trouble juggling her career with her family and often couldn’t keep track of both at the same time without the help of many of her colleagues.  Women on television are often portrayed as weak in comparison to men, especially after they become mothers.  They’re shown as too emotional or incapable of completing tasks they previously could do in their sleep with their hands tied behind their back.  This is an unfortunate portrayal, and while many people insist women can’t ‘have it all,’ below are a few tips from a successful mother who is managing her note-worthy career while balancing her role in parenthood.

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Natalie LeBlanc

Natalie LeBlanc is a fantastic woman and relatable example for how to combine feminism and family.  LeBlanc is the Director of the California Office for the Pivot Group, a political communications firm, which has worked to publicize Hillary Clinton, President Obama, and many other politicians.  On top of that, she’s a runner, wife, and mother of two twin boys.  I recently had the pleasure of interviewing her about motherhood and her career where she shared the below lessons. 

Don’t define success based on your accomplishments.

LeBlanc used to define success in terms of what she could achieve in relation to her peers, which a lot of women do.  She said it stemmed from a lack of self-confidence in that she only felt good enough when she reached the same achievements as the people around her.  This is important for women to keep in mind.  Many feminists measure themselves based on the accomplishments of their male peers, but this represents a serious discrepancy.  Women tend to work a lot harder than men in order to achieve raises and praise from their bosses, but are still getting paid only $0.77 for every $1 a man earns.  With women working extra hard to make a buck, it's no wonder that motherhood can complicate their careers since they have to divide their time between work and home.  LeBlanc says one of the keys to success is ‘not looking around to see what others are achieving.  Instead, it means being present at the office, working hard, and taking clients I believe in and helping them win.  It also means being present at home and kicking ass as a mom to two happy, healthy little baby boys.’

Don’t be fooled by the notion that men can ‘have it all’ while women can’t.

’You can’t have it all,’ says LeBlanc.  ‘I would amend this to say that no one can have it all – men or women.’  This is a really powerful statement because the stigma only exists that women cannot successfully balance work and family.  LeBlanc says that she feels fortunate to have a husband who is very involved in the home in addition to his work.  They take turns handling the childcare.  Unfortunately, since 50% of all marriages end in divorce, this is clearly not reasonable to expect from the point of view of single mothers.  Instead, they have to look elsewhere to afford childcare.  With the income discrepancy between men and women, mothers are forced to work extra hard and choose either work or home.  LeBlanc mentions that teamwork is the ultimate goal in managing both work and family, so this insists that if a woman is co-parenting, even if the parents are separated, the childcare should be divided between parents in order to make it work.  Women who don’t have this option are left to look to family or friends for added support or research local resources for childcare.  It's important to look at what you have instead of working for the goal of having everything because men can’t have everything either.  LeBlanc hit home when she said ‘I don’t ‘have it all,’ but I have a lot.  And I’m grateful for it.’

Finding time for yourself is just as important as making time for the kids.

Making time to be alone is crucial to retaining sanity.  ‘One thing I would say that frequently doesn’t get discussed when you talk about balance is this: find time for yourself.  It sounds selfish, but in the long run, it makes you a better parent, a better partner, and a better professional,’ LeBlanc says.  Being a mother and a professional can be very stressful even if you love your job.  Each can affect the other and make the stress pile up into a mountainous heap of imminent self-implosions, which is why separating the two and making time for yourself is crucial.  Home is one place where LeBlanc said she used to be able to find peace, but with twin infants, there's a lot of attention to be given to each child.  This is common for women who balance home and work.  Motherhood is a full-time job and in addition to the career, it can eat you alive.  You should find time for your personal needs, even if it's somewhere you wouldn’t expect.  LeBlanc likes to run, go for a drink with a friend, get a manicure, or even just go to Target on her own.

Family time can be fun time, too.

While LeBlanc and her husband 'divide and conquer with the kids,' which might not be realistic for everyone, it is important to find a balance away from personal phnes and computers to spend quality time together.  Family is the perfect place to find people to share your hobbies with.  LeBlanc and her husband love being outdoors so they took the boys on a hike to Marin Headlands in California for all to enjoy.  She says that ‘being outside makes me the happiest, and having these two little boys to share and to show new things is invaluable to me.’

All in all, Natalie LeBlanc does not lead an easy life, but she manages to balance both feminism and her family in a healthy way.  A lot can be learned from her.  Women have to actively compete with men in many aspects, but teaming up with them or with other peers or family members can be equally as important to maintain a healthy family and work life.  I hope that by following these helpful tips it will make your pursuits as a mother and professional woman easier! 

As a student at UC Berkeley, Noelle Richards is passionate about researching successful women and how they manage their personal and professional lives in a productive and positive way.

 

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