Nuri Matthew

We’ve all been there.  You meet someone and feel an instant connection.  Maybe they’re funny, maybe they keep you guessing, or maybe they too, happen to enjoy your favorite obscure indie-folk band.  Either way, you enjoy their company and would hate to miss out on an opportunity to spend time with them.

7.17.Slide

Purchase 'Don't Touch' iPhone case here.

As you continue to get to know each other, time passes and you start to notice a few changes.  Conversations become short and scarce, and it seems like no matter how much time you try to make to see them, they’re somehow ALWAYS ‘busy.’  Frustrated but nevertheless infatuated, you decide to patiently wait until they’re able to free up a time slot to squeeze you into.  Finally, the time has come.  It's a Thursday night around 1:30 am and your phone buzzes with a text that reads ‘you up?’  You immediately spring into action (knowing good and well you have to be at work at 7:00 am) and plan those late-night arrangements to see them.

Now, I’m not writing this to convince you of your decision.  Only you know what's best for you and your situation.  But here are some things to consider.

What may potentially come from this encounter.

Unfortunately, people can be sneaky and will stay away from communicating their intentions not only to keep you guessing, but to keep their options open.  So if you choose to accept this invitation, they might decide to take this relationship in a much different direction than you were hoping for.

There’s a good chance they may not be hitting you up for pizza and a game of Cards Against Humanity.

Of course, that’s what you’re hoping for, but like I said, people can be selfish and strategic.  Knowing that you’re waiting for time to share their company, they decide to reach out to you at a time that's convenient for them and their ‘desired activities.’

There’s always time.

If Beyonce can make time for Jay-Z, and Barack can make time for Michelle, this person should have no problem making time for you at a reasonable hour, that is, if they truly desire to.  From my perspective, someone having to send you a text asking if you’re still up should tell you that you weren’t far up enough on their list for them to be in touch with you to make plans during the day.  You deserve to be a priority.

Grey.Line.7

Your availability is a privilege and should be treated as such.

Grey.Line.7

You and your time are just as (if not more) valuable as theirs.

Your availability is a privilege and should be treated as such.  If your tireless efforts to hang out with this person continue to be met with lame excuses and no replies, consider that a red flag that this somebody doesn’t deserve all that you have to offer.

Now let me say, as a young twenty-something, I recognize and appreciate the importance of the hook-up culture.  With that being said, this post may not be applicable to you if you too are looking for a emotionally-detached, friends-with-benefits relationship (whether or not there is such a thing is for another article).  There's nothing wrong with a little late night rendezvous as long as the relationship is made clear and maintains mutual benefit.  But for those of you who want something more, don't give in to deceit and insincerity, because ultimately, you’re worth more than a ‘you up’ text.

 

Nuri Matthew is a recent graduate of the University of South Florida with a degree in Sociology.  She currently resides in New York City working as an editorial intern with the bSmart Guide.

 

Comments (3)

  1. Regine Boykin

Love this! Clapped my hands throughout the whole thing lol.

 
  1. Meagan Hooper

Phenomenal words for our modern age of love!

 
  1. Kim Harris

Awesome read and so true.

 
There are no comments posted here yet

Leave your comments

Posting comment as a guest. Sign up or login to your account.
Attachments (0 / 3)
Share Your Location