Nuri Matthew

So, I just turned 22.  In my short journey along this horrific yet beautiful trek called life, I have experienced my fair share of laughs, heartaches, mistakes, and nights consisting of one too many tequila lemonades.  But most importantly, through all of my trials and tribulations, I’ve managed to pick up a few important lessons along the way.  I purposely didn’t want to title this ‘What I Know So Far’ because well, I’m 22 and I still don’t have everything quite figured out yet.  

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But here are some things I’ve gathered so far:

1) Your mom will eventually become your best friend, confidant, and financial advisor all in one.  Don’t fight it; appreciate it.

2) Your worth isn’t determined by someone’s ability (or inability) to love you.

3) If someone says they don’t want a relationship, do yourself a favor and believe them.  Do not continue to give your heart and energy to someone who made it clear that they didn’t want it.

4) They didn’t decline your third (or 30th) attempt to hangout with them because they’re busy.  Your time and effort are a privilege.  Only give them to people who treat it as such.

5) Not everyone you lose is a loss.  When it’s time for people to make their exit from your life, thank them for the lessons you we’re able to gain from your time together, and move forward.

6) In heartbreak, you have to feel it to heal it.  Emotions are like assignments due at 11:59; no matter how much you try to ignore them, they never seem to magically disappear.   Address your emotions head on no matter how dramatic or sappy, and allow yourself time to feel them.

7) A mistake made more than once is a choice.

8) Don’t ever be a person who ‘doesn’t ask for too much.’  You are worth more than someone’s bare minimum effort.

9) Embrace solidarity.  There is something so organically beautiful about the person you are when nobody's  watching.  Hang out with her, get to know her and grow to love her.  After all, self-love is self-taught.

10) Love will not find you if you remain stuck in a place where love couldn’t be found.  Do not hold on to the what-ifs of a failed relationship.  Free up some space in your mind and heart for something new.

11) Embrace vulnerability.  Whether it be in love or any other part of your twenty-something year old life, I have found that putting yourself in a place of uncertainty makes for some of the most amazing adventures.

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A mistake made more than once becomes a choice.

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In my short yet fulfilling 22 years, I’ve come to realize that every mistake, big or small, is accompanied by an even greater lesson. What is most important is not the mistake itself, but whether or not we choose to embrace our great (or not so great) choices and carry them with us for future reference.  Embrace your journey, make mistakes, fall in love, and most importantly, enjoy the ride.

 

Nuri Matthew is a recent graduate of the University of South Florida with a degree in sociology and was a former Editorial Intern with bSmart. She currently resides in NYC working as a content creator and sales and marketing assistant with NYC-based women’s contemporary brand Ego Soleil.

 

 

Comments (2)

  1. Angelina Eimannsberger

So beautiful <3

 
  1. Meagan Hooper

Great lessons for any age, Nuri.

 
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